We’ve merged Little Mix, an NUFC star, Sam Fender and a Geordie film director to make the ultimate Eurovision star
All eyes in Newcastle will be on Turin this weekend as Eurovision 2022 hits our screens.
It's always a night full of shenanigans with plenty of cringeworth gimmics, sickly pop and a whole lot of drama.
As the UK has found in recent history, sending forward a succesful Eurovision entrant is much easier said than done.
There's a lot that goes into every performance from the vocals to the lyrics and the costume to the staging.
Often, it proves much too much for a single person to handle.
Ahead of Eurovision 2022 this weekend, NewcastleWorld endeavours to build the ultimate UK entry, made up entirely of Geordie icons.
1. Vocals - Perrie Edwards and Jade Thirwall
When it comes to the vocals, our ultimate Geordie Eurovision contestant isn’t short of options. Tyneside is blessed by singing talent. Some other favourites to fill this slot appear later in this list, but we’re handing the responsiblity to Little Mix’s Perrie Edwards & Jade Thirwall. The South Shields pop stars are known for their unwavering live vocals, have plenty practice harmonising and can do it all whilst executing choreography too.
Photo: Getty Images
2. Songwriting - Sam Fender
It’s an absolute no brainer here. Sam Fender’s rise over the past few years has got Geordies falling head over heels for the North Shields star. Fender’s lyricism is hyper-local, honest and endearing - we’re sure the rest of Europe would love him too.
3. Personality - Ant & Dec
When you’ve built a career on TV spanning over 30 years, there must be something pretty likeable about you. Ant & Dec have gone from Byker locals to national treasures. They can turn their hands to anything thanks to their Geordie charisma, so Eurovision should be a walk in the park.
4. Costume - Choriza May
We’ve gone for honourary Geordie Choriza May in the costume department. The drag queen is oringally from Spain but has built her career on Tyneside. The star featured on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK last year and turned heads with looks, including one inspired by the football club. We’re in safe hands here.